Level Ground

April 04, 2017 in Iphone Snaps, Thoughts, Slow Living

i ran.
and i ran and ran and ran.
the driving feeling that manifested physically beat inside me repeatedly until i acted on it.
i constantly wanted to run away.
runrunrunrunrunrunrun.
the feeling i had, which i interpreted as a need, was constant.
and yet even when i acted on it, even when i did run in some form or another, arriving never eased the command.
it didn’t let up.
“you still need to run” something inside of me would say.
“you have to escape”
“you don’t belong here”
wandering flushes a glory that fades with arrival.

That Voice

December 13, 2015 in Thoughts

a mid-morning revelation:

that voice will call you home when you realize no other will truly lead you there.

however, you're only capabale of hearing that voice if you're being still enough to listen for it.

Being Still

September 26, 2015 in Thoughts

this is something that’s a challenge for me.
while i excel at being alone, it’s very hard for me to be still. i bring up both synonymously, not because you can’t be still when you’re around others, you can, but i find most often the need for it is when i am alone. to myself. in a place of solitude. away from people.
but as i was saying.
my mind is one that is constantly going.
whirring.
moving.
progressing.
growing.
and to be still and quiet it, and my soul, is something that doesn’t come naturally or easily for me. outwardly not so much, i can be physically still easily. but inwardly… that's another story.

but meditating, having a quiet moment to begin the day, has become a part of my morning routine that i’ve tried to maintain.
to intentionally set my mind on what i’m living for, who i’m living for, and what i want to accomplish in the hours set before me and my day. doing this has really helped in staying focused and motivated to get things done. amazingly so actually. i tend to hop from one thing to another and multi task to the point of unproductiveness.
more often than not i’m working from home and that brings with it a slew of distractions.

those clothes need to be put away.
oh i need to take out the trash.
i can’t forget honey at the grocery store later.
did i wash that?
that definitely needs to be washed.
what should i wear to dinner tonight…
i need to organize that shelf right now. it’s driving me crazy.
oh look a this photo! i forgot i had this.
instagram.
twitter.
instagram.
ok stop stop. focus. focus.
tumblr.
snapchat *super fast*
okay okay, phone off.
where’s that pen…
i need to write that down before i forget.

… you get the picture.
so.
this is something i’m still working on. still practicing. still trying to be.
and that’s okay. it’s okay that i’m not always super great at it.
i think for me it’s primarily just being aware that it’s something that’s good for my mental and, indirectly, physical health.
for my being.

but mostly, i think it’s just a reminder of this.