"This showed me, once again, that I was happier when I accepted my own real likes and dislikes, instead of trying to decide what I ought to like; I was happier when I stopped squelching the inclinations toward note taking and bookmaking that I'd had since childhood and instead embraced them. As Michael de Montaigne observed, 'The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced.'" - Gretchen Rubin
"Natural ways of the soul"
It's rather a lovely phrase, in all of it's simplicity.
Reading this passage from The Happiness Project last week gave me a somewhat obvious mini epiphany.
It's okay that I don't like cooking.
Maybe I will one day, but I really don't right now.
Sometimes I do. When I have extra time, when it's something relatively easy, or when I'm doing it with someone.
But for the most part I do not enjoy it.
And that's okay.
It's okay that I don't like gardening, or doing anything excessively dirty outside.
I love being outside.
I love camping, I love sailing, I love riding bikes and picnics and reading in the grass, and going to the river and the beach and I don't mind getting dirty. Sometimes I even like getting dirty, It can be kind of satisfying in a way. But generally when it comes to working outside, with bugs and the heat, and heavy lifting and labor and hard work... I am not a fan.
And somehow gardening/anything plant related (with the exception of succulents. When I can keep them alive...) has always encompassed those things for me and I never really enjoy it.
It's also okay that I'm not good at math.
Other people are.
And there's always a calculator.
It's okay that I do not enjoy talking on the phone.
I honestly would just rather just see you in person, or if it's just something quick, send me an email or a text. Or even a letter in the mail.
I don't know what it is, but with the exception of my long distance relationships (and even then it's hard to reach me. Sorry Maddie...) I really just don't like talking on the phone.
(Ironically I do like voicemails though...? I don't know. I don't make sense sometimes.)
It's okay that I don't like seafood.
I try it. I try it a lot. And I've always felt bad for not liking it. I want to like it. But I just don't.
I'll keep trying it. And maybe I'll like it one day... but in the meantime I won't feel bad about it.
It's okay that I'm really bad at multitasking.
(With the exception of when knitting is involved.)
It's apparently not as productive as I thought it was anyway.
It's okay that I would rather pay for certain things to be done then learn to do them myself.
I know time is money and all, but I feel like sometimes it's not.
And I really would rather just have the time.
It's okay that I'm not the most technological savvy person.
Even though I'm from the generation that's supposed to be.
(Like, what is Tinder? Does anyone even use Google+? I still have an iPhone 4s, is that okay? And how do I get iCloud to work... help me.)
It's okay that I don't like flip flops.
It's okay that I don't own a hair dryer.
Or know how to properly apply foundation or blush (neither of which I have...)
Or that I'm still not able to use a curling iron very well.
Or know what the heck mousse is even for.
Or that I've pretty much had the same makeup routine for the past 5 years.
Or that I've only ever gotten a manicure twice in my life.
I'm still a lady.
(Just not a well manicured, beautifully blushing, fluffy haired one.)
It's okay that I don't like watching sports.
Even a little bit.
It's also okay that I don't like playing sports.
Even something as simple as cornhole.
I really would just rather not.
//////
There are, of course, exceptions to all of these.
For instance: I love playing basketball with my brothers, I kind of sort of like calamari (if I don't think about it), I love cooking with my Aunt because there's always stories and illustrations involved (and plus she usually does most of the work and then I get to eat the delicious creation afterwards), some of the best conversations I've had have been on the phone, and of course there are some things I need to learn how to do rather than pay for them to be done so that I can counteract my occasional penchant for laziness.
But overall, these things do not come naturally to me.
And that's okay.
I'm really great at other things. My soul is full of all kinds of beautiful and natural ways.
And so is yours.
So don't beat yourself up for the ones that aren't there.