Incubation Time

earlier this week i read this post (thanks for sharing this with me dear Brian!) and i really really loved it.

it's an interview with Raf Simmons -the previous creative director at Christian Dior- and in part of the article he talks about the sacredness of having allowance and space for ideas to have incubation time.
and that's definitely an idea that tapped me on the shoulder and got me thinking.

especially because slowing down my life has been such a theme for me in recent years (read about some of the creative aspects of those excursions into this here and here and here and here).
but in relation to giving that slowness to ideas specifically, (especially to my constant idea-producing-big-dreaming mind) is somewhat revolutionary to me.
not necessarily in the practice of it but in the naming of it in recognizing that that is what i'm doing.

but at the same time, it's something i have subconsciously always sort of done.
to the point of it being a fault (mostly because of my over analytic i-don't-want-to-make-a-mistake tendencies).
this is definitely seen in my writing and photo work that i share publicly. i am not one to post in the moment, rashly, or without thinking about it for an extended amount of time. 
i tend to let things it sit for a few days.
however there are dangers with this sort of methodology. 
such as: losing momentum and passion for an idea (on your part, or on that of the short-attention-spanned viewer), having a message come across too premeditated, and the one i think i most often might be guilty of: forcing an idea out that isn't meant to be out there because of guilt you feel in having spent so much time on it... because surely it's meant to be, simply because of all the time and thought you've already spent on it. 
such tends to be my thought process.

which is somewhat reflected in the article from this quote: 

"Technically speaking, it works. Does it work for me emotionally? No, because I’m not the kind of person who likes to do things so fast. I think if I had more time, I would reject more things, and bring other ideas or concepts in. But that’s also not necessarily better. Sometimes you can work things to death when you take too much time."

and so there's a balance to be sought.
as with all things.
i just hope i can stick with the pursuit of that and not embody this overwhelming issue that i am also so familiar with...

"Everything is so easily accessible, and because of that you don’t make a lot of effort anymore. When we were young, you had to make up your mind to investigate something — because it took time. You really had to search and dig deep. Now if something interests you, one second later, you can have it. And also one second later you also drop it."

a few more thoughts i had on these words can be found here.

Revisting Core Values

i happened to re-visit my list of core values today (which can be found here on my website. but for the sake of this post i’m going to list them below).
they’re something i wrote three years ago. 

and if there’s one thing i’ve learned about the power of words, it’s that writing-saying-proclaiming them out loud in one of those ways, is so powerful.
even if we don’t constantly come back to their original documentation, putting them out there in the world intentionally is often enough for us to end up embodying their message subconsciously.

i think this because i have to say that despite the fact that this list has been on my website for over a year, it’s on a card that i stick into each and every order i ship out from the shop, and i’ve shared it a few times here and there on social media when i first wrote them, i haven’t especially meditated on them or kept them in the forefront of my mind.

and yet, reading them today, i realized that my life embodies these values.
this is what i live out.
this is my life.

and the pride i have in that, in myself, for bettering my world which includes myself and the people i have the opportunity to come into contact with, is such an incredible thing.
it's so important to think on these things.
to live with an intentionality.

what are your core values?

---

1. Do everything with Passion. 
Do my best in whatever situation I'm presented with. 
Stay tremendously interested in things. 
Above all point back to my creator in all that I do because He's the source of all things good. 

2. Be in a state of constant Exploration. 
Seek adventure not just in traveling. 
Challenge myself. 
Always be willing to learn new things. 
Observe the world around me. 

3. Love.
Fall in love with people. Their stories. Their uniqueness and individuality. Love them where they're at, wherever that might be. 
Fall in love with work. With what I get to do for work. With the process of things. 
Be in love with my life. 
And above all: Remember what love is. 

4. Enjoy the art of the every day. 
The simple. The routine. The ordinary. Because there's beauty in all of it. 
Live in a state of thankfulness. Have it be a part of my lifestyle, not just a list. 
Collect moments not things.

5. Create. 
Whether that's knitting a sweater, taking a photo, building a new relationship, or learning how to make really amazing guacamole. 
Make more. 
And in the making, don't be afraid of failure. 
Remember that no great thing is created suddenly. 

6. Dream fearlessly. 
Do not let the world's standards or definitions of what's possible define who I am, what I want to be or where I want to go.
Have vision and drive for doing and being better. 
Never settle. Aim high. Go confidently. 

7. Inspire. 
Help others discover their dreams and passions by simply pursuing my own. 
Pursue excellence. 
Encourage and motivate others to be the best that they can be. 

8. Be Leney.
Authentic. Confident. Unique. Genuine.
Whether that's the donut obsessed Leney, the avid picture taking Leney, the never not knitting Leney, the Leney who likes to dance to cheesy pop music or the Leney who likes getting on buses alone to find a new adventure at the other end. 
Remember that comparison is the thief of joy and to not let my vision of who I want to be obscure my view of who I actually am. 

---

Goodbye 2016

so i know this isn’t a right-on-time New Year salutation, but as 2017 came to us on a Sunday, and i try to limit my screen time especially on Sunday’s, i wasn’t feeling up to writing this then.
plus i needed a little bit of time for sinking-in and mulling-over of some of the following.
this might get long, but such is the way of my heart, so bare with me.

i have felt more me this year than i ever have before.

a friend and i have this joke “you're more you than you've ever been” which comes about when we feel content, we’ve had revelations into our innermost workings, or breakthroughs in regards to external issues.

and that might sound trivial to you in a cliche millennial-generation-find-yourself sort of way, but honestly it’s how i feel. 

it’s the summation of what this year has been, and what i think will continue for me into 2017.
being more me now than i've ever been.

i think the following has a huge part in the making up of that whole...

—my recognition of who my people are. who i can trust consistently in times of trouble, in times of joy, in times of in-between. who i can trust with the deeper and bigger pieces of my heart. having these people close and vocally stating to them, and myself, their value in my life did something to me this year in the way of my contentment and grounding that i’m not sure i’ve ever fully achieved or recognized in past years. having persons, a "tribe" if you will, is so essential to a healthy wellbeing.
i am so forward-and-backward-and-all-the-way-around grateful for mine.

—my acceptance of who i am. quite a vague statement for a very in depth realization, but i am going to leave it at that.

—my stepping out of a box i-and-others had built up around myself. in regards to my abilities, expectations, assumptions, limitations... all of which, imagined or not, smothered the person i was made to be. i'm still learning to shed the darkness of this box, but i'm seeing so much more light now than i ever have before.

—my learning to practice mindfulness. recognizing how and when i was fixating too much on the past or the future and not being present---> the most important place of the three to be.

—my intention and continuation of having a 'slow living' lifestyle. in so many new ways. which keep evolving and changing, but as a whole have made up so much of my mindset in regards to so many important pieces of my life this past year. which has only changed me for the better.

in addition to those key revelations and learnings, my vision for the year list (or goals/resolutions list if you will) was the shortest i think it’s ever been. 
i kept reaching to add more, tack on extra and additional, but it felt so forced that i kept erasing and deleting and cutting back again.
simplifying has been a theme of my year as well and it seems even subconsciously i've taken ahold of it in more ways than i originally had realized.
to give you some perspective, New Year’s lists of the past have had categories.
i’m talking headers with subtext, comments and sub-goals. which is all well and good but when it comes down to it, most intentions and desires can usually be summed up in a few words, if not one word.

and so, after looking at my humble little list, i realized the theme for my year (as mentioned on instagram the other night) is....

to create  s p a c e

to stop doing things out of obligation
to let go of things that weigh me down
to cease doing things that make unhappy

you would think that something of that sort would be glaringly obvious and not so hard to halt the doing of, and yet we get so caught up in routine and should do’s and the comparison game and obligation and, more often than not, downright fear that before we know it we’ve woven this tangled web that we aren’t sure how to get out of. 
it’s especially hard when those things have become habit. 
it’s maybe even harder when those things are related to money, as money is a necessity in this world we live in because, well, we have to eat... at the minimum.

and so the last quarter 2016, because i was starting to have somewhat of a quarter life crisis, involved me figuring out what those things were.
what i needed to change.
and, once i did, being brave and proactive about starting to let them go. 
again, i know that's quite vague, but more will probably come out about this as the year progresses and i figure things out.
however right now i'm not able to talk about it because i'm still somewhat in the midst of the figuring-out.
and if there is something i've learned time and time again (because for some reason i need to repeat mistakes excessively MULTIPLE times before i actually learn...) about a phase of this sort,  is that when i share something too soon, it can often change the once positive outcome into a negative one.
i've learned to share and be open once my healing and wellbeing isn't dependant on others reactions to what i've shared.
once i've moved past it.
once i've figured things out.
once i'm solid again, no longer shakable.

because when you share things too soon, even with the most well intending of parties, especially people who don't know you deep down all the way (see first point in list above), unwanted, unwarranted, confusing, misleading advice and opinion is often given in the midst of your journey. and if you invite too much of it, focus too much on it, and start listening to the outside voices more than that of your inner voice, you can step off the path and your journey becomes longer and harder.

so. 
all of that to say. 
i'm headed in a new direction.
i don't fully know what that looks like yet. it might not look that different to some of you. it might look radically different to the rest of you. but that's not really what matters because it's my journey and i'm the one who's a-walkin it.

so here's to all of our journeys this year.
i'm not going to hope that your paths are smooth and straight- for it's the wrong turns and bumps in the road that often make us into better versions of ourselves and we end up being the most grateful for- but i do hope that when you do encounter those unexpected and hard times, you have good people around you to help you through them.
and if you don't: go out and find them.

p.s. you're amazing if you read that whole entire thing.

p.p.s. i was contemplating summing up my year in a list.
a “year in review” if you will, as is my ritual. 
however, as i am one who’s always fighting against being defined by the things i do and people’s perception of that and being summed up in a list of accomplishments (or lack there of) i decided to refrain. and, also, because the value and whole and looking back on a year and all of it's trials and triumphs cannot be adequately expressed in a bulletpointed list.
 

A Slow Christmas

It's Christmas Eve Eve!

I've spent the majority of the day finishing up some handmade gifts, printing photos, wrapping presents, cuddling up with my sheepskins, knitting some non work related things, contemplating making some cookies (though to be honest I'll probably wait until tomorrow so they're as fresh as possible for Santa...), drinking a glass of wine, catching up on podcasts and just enjoying being home (except for the hour I had to run an errand... but everyone was insane and borderline getting into accidents everywhere so I quickly came back).

Contrary to our cultures usual state around this time of year, there's surprisingly been a lot of slowness and contentment around here this month for me. Which is refreshing in an almost overwhelming way.

This is the first December in a long long time where I am not insane, stressed out, sleep deprived and overwhelmed with my work load and attempting to accomplish way more things than any one person can sanely do.
I decided back in the fall that this month was going to look different for me in that way especially. My soul has craved a change, in a few different areas of my life, but I was having a hard time identifying what it was exactly.
I'm still in the midst of figuring it out somewhat, but I eventually realized that I wasn't going to figure it out if I kept filling my life with so much noise. With so much busyness. With so much.
So I decided to create space.
So I intentionally cut back. 
And I think I've had one of the more peaceful and enjoyable Christmas season than I've had in quite some time as a result.
It only took me all year for the art of slow living to finally, really-truly-all-the-way, sink in.

In keeping with this, I'm going to be doing my very best to stay off my phone and social media on Christmas day and maybe even a little while after too. 
I might have to delete my Instagram app to be able to fully do this (I wish I could just shut off my phone but I like taking photos with it too much) because let's be real, that swipe-tap-scroll impulse is insatiable sometimes...
It's the only social media app I have left on my phone these days, though I can't say that I don't use Safari way too often to still get on twitter and Facebook... so I'm not as disconnected as I seem.

But I won't be gone for long.
I've been writing too voraciously and habitually for that. 
(At last)    

Merry Christmas dear friends. I hope you're able to create yourself some intentional space and peace for yourself and your loved ones this weekend as well.

xo